What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger: Dealing with stress in the family as a family.
Strong families are beneficial to not only themselves but to the communities in which they reside; they are the building blocks of society. Unfortunately even the strongest family can be shaken by stress. However, the stress itself is not so much the problem but how it is dealt with. The mismanagement of stress can lead to fissures in the foundation of the family system.
Effective communication is the best tool for a family to use to successfully navigate stressors, and often the most underutilized. People tend to deal with stress in silos. Opting to go it alone opposed to coming together to tackle it as a team; from the teen being bullied at school, to the father being burnt out from work, to the mom feeling unappreciated, to the sibling that feels left out. These individual issues will ultimately affect the entire family, often leading to misunderstandings, unmet needs, hurt feelings, resentment, and bitterness. In a household there is no such thing as “that persons” stress. Everyone in the house will be affected in one way or another.
So the solution is to communicate. But that is often much easier said than done. Communication between two people is difficult; communication among an entire family is a special challenge but not one that can’t be navigated successfully. Being able to listen for understanding opposed to responding is a skill that can be taught. Fundamentally people want to feel heard and understood.
As a Youth/Parent/Family coach my role is to help the parent(s) or guardian(s) think critically, foster effective communication within the family system, create and facilitate solutions to daily challenges, as well as how to thoughtfully manage larger stressors (divorce, sickness, marriage, job loss, death, etc.) all in an effort to build and maintain a family that is solid. The first step to becoming a stronger family unit is to identify, acknowledge, and address any areas of need.
I offer a workshop for parents to provide a dynamic atmosphere were we come together as a team to support and encourage one another as we become skilled in stress management. This workshop will teach about effective communication, establishing healthy boundaries, and creating self-care systems as a means of managing stress and maintaining healthy relationships within the family. Some role-play will be used to demonstrate effective listening and as a group we will brainstorm realistic self-care regimens that an entire family can benefit from and support.
The onus of responsibility when managing family stress falls squarely on the guardian. The first step is accepting that responsibility, the next is obtaining tools. Stress will never go away so we might as well learn how to deal with it and manage it. I can help.
You are worthy of being holistically well.
Yulinda Rock